Spanking is one of those former taboo fetishes that hit the mainstream thanks to books like the 50 Shades of Grey series. For some, getting spanked can bring back horrid memories of childhood and for some, it’s a pleasure vs pain mentality. How much pleasure can be elicited from the sting of a hand against a soft bottom? Spanking is more than just sporadic smacks on the bum, spanking is an art form. It’s serious business for those who do it properly. Whether it’s your newfound kink or just something you’d like to try, allow us to introduce you to spanking 101.
First of all, whether you’re the spanker or the receiver, make sure that being hit on the bum is something both parties consensually want or are willing to try. This is also the perfect moment to mention that the spanking should remain exclusive to other sexual activities. In other words, this isn’t a random spank while out in public or during sex at home. When you decide to practice it, set aside a little bit of time where the spankee lays across your lap or is bent over and you deal thoughtful and careful spanks to their bum.
Hand, Paddle or Whip? In the beginning, using your hand is recommended as it is more intimate, and it means the spanker can feel the tingle. Right or left hand preference is up to the person doing the spanking, and only use one hand at a time. The two-handed-spank is a highly advanced move that can hurt a lot if not done properly. Once you and your partner are comfortable with each other, then slowly introduce a whip, paddle or other flogging instruments. These are considered advanced spanking toys and shouldn’t be used on a whim or on a spankee who isn’t use to the stinging pain of a spank.
You can’t just go straight into the spank either. Massage the bum of the spankee. Get it all soft, warm and responsive to touch, take full care before you spank. It’s a good way to start the session as it might be too tender for touching and kneading later on. You can get a little hard with your technique, too, as you will be working that flesh in a little while. It will allow you and your partner to gauge how much strength they and their bottom can handle.
Spanking is kind of like a sport. You keep your eye on the ball. You don’t watch your hand or toy swing. You should be focusing on the fleshiest middle section of the butt cheek. Swinging blind will almost always end up with a misplaced slap and the wrong kind of pain. Too high and you’ve hit the kidneys. Too low and you’ve landed in the sensitive area of the thigh. It’s important to concentrate on the right area especially as it gets harder and more frequent.
Pay attention to the spankee’s body language! If your spankee cries out or tries to move his or her butt away from your hand after a strong spank, do these things.
- Don’t hit that spot again immediately after.
- Rub the sore side with the palm of your hand to soothe it to show you care and to show you’re aware of your mistake.
- Do it lighter when you go for the opposite side.
Swapping cheeks is important as hitting the same spot again and again can quickly become the wrong kind of painful. If the receiver is crying out with pleasure or even laughing, you can slowly increase the spanking strength.
Just like a tattoo, a spanking session has aftercare. When there is pain involved, as well as the trust exchange between individuals in submissive and dominant roles, it’s important to be affectionate afterwards. This just lets your partner know that you care about their physical and emotional wellbeing, as violence and pain can be quite draining and confronting. If there are bruises or welts, tend to them with cream or ice.
Once you’ve become an expert at spanking, you can upgrade into the wooden paddles or leather gloves. Co-ordination and patience is key when it comes to practicing Spanking. Remember to never spank someone without their consent, and happy slapping.